The Holdback: Why We Struggle with Being Authentically Authentic

Holdback #1: Fear

Fear is a powerful human emotion. It can keep your best from the world. It can turn up at the discussion table as imposter syndrome telling our authenticity to “sit this one out”. We, at Leaderology, frequently encounter imposter syndrome during our coaching conversations. In these discussions, we ask our coachees: “What is the opposite of imposter syndrome?” and “What would not being an imposter look like?” Often the answer is something that sounds like “proficiency” or “expertise in that area”, other times we hear “confidence” or “rising to a certain level of ‘authority’”. While all are worthy opponents, they are not accurate.

The problem with imposter syndrome is that it creates within us a fraudulent sense of self, and the problem with most of our "solutions" is that they are just as contrived and ill-fitting. The opposite to being seen as a fraud, is being seen as authentic. By allowing time and space to sit with and examine our imposter syndrome, we make room for an honest – and authentic – assessment of our knowledge, skills, and competency gaps. By fearlessly sharing what we know and what we don't know, we increase the potential for a way through our sense of posturing. We can then begin to move forward into a more authentic way of being.

Holdback #2: Pressure to Conform

Humans have a psychological need and propensity for conforming to the norms of a group. How do we see this play out in corporate cultures? As leaders and employees, we might don the weight of the conventional corporate suit that says, "this is how things are done around here". In doing so we succumb and conform to groupthink, which prevents the sharing of new ideas and fresh ways of thinking. This may mean employees are adjusting to a persona that conforms, or is compatible with, the existing corporate environment.

BIPOC employees often feel pressured to mask or hide their authentic selves, something colloquially called code-switching. When people of color are forced to conform to an existing, white dominant, corporate culture they often have no choice but to code-switch, for success and even for survival. In the age of video conferencing/remote work, where the lines are increasingly blurred between professional and private, there is no personal refuge from the added burden of self-consciousness. An environment or culture that is not conducive to being fearlessly authentic can require too much effort to adapt. This constant effort can become physically and emotionally draining, and eventually lead to burnout.

Holdback #3: Complacency

Some of us can become stuck in the comfort of our own authenticity. Being too rigid in who you believe yourself to be can hold you back from your fullest potential. Just as an over-utilized strength can eventually become an obstacle, maintaining a too-rigid sense of self can close the door on an entire host of growth and development opportunities.

What if we removed that door from its hinges, or just took down the walls altogether? What if we expanded the box of our thinking to create room for new experiences and perspectives? What if we created space for others to belong and bring with them their full, fearlessly authentic selves?

Fall in love with the book, not just the past chapters.

Many of us look to our past to inform us of our preferences and who we are today. Our stories are constantly evolving, continuously informing our senses of identity and self. As we grow within our careers, demands on us shift, adding responsibility, expectations and new cultural norms. So as the world around us continues to evolve, approach it with openness and curiosity. Remember experiences from the past, definitely, but know that the future is still up for grabs and that you don’t have to go it alone: engage a leadership coach to help you understand and refine your identity and help guide you as you embark on writing your next chapter.

Be a chameleon, not a copycat.

Challenge your internal visions of leaders and mentors. Make sure you are expanding your mental images when you think about the role-models you want to emulate. Idolizing any single leader is limiting, and is not authentic to you. Seek out a variety of diverse leadership mentors and reverse mentors who have differing leadership approaches, paths and lived experiences. Include them in your journey. Learn from both their strengths and the challenges they face so that you can better adapt to changes in your own situation.

Be the change (agent) we need in this world.

Psychological safety is the key multiplier of fearless authenticity: it creates space. The effects of this space can lead to increased motivation, engagement and innovation. When someone feels safe to be authentic – regardless of title or rank – they will exercise courage and bring you their best, out-of-the-box thinking. They may also feel courageous enough to bring to attention an oversight that could have massive consequences. Both acts provide value for you as a leader and for your organization. Make it a practice to ask yourself:

• Am I creating a psychologically safe environment that is inclusive and promotes a sense of belonging?

• Does my leadership cultivate a community of contribution, and mutual learning?

• Does my team feel comfortable to propose their ideas to me, not only the ones that align with my way of thinking?

• Do I provide these opportunities for everyone? Even those that might look, speak, act, move, love, think, believe, and work differently than me?